Unfortunately we have endured Covid 19 and now the contamination of lettuce with a protozoan contamination of lettuce! No salads or even Taco Bell. But has the CDC who we have asked for transparency hacn't mentioned the latest threat to ou health. Yes greater and more pervasive than any of our previous threats!

Yes The COOTIES Challenge! Laugh if you must but it is present and pervasive!

Cooties Challenge 
In the summer of 2026 the air was thick, and the days hot and humid. But still you could her the laughter of  children playing in parks. But beneath this seemingly idyllic surface lurked a catastrophe destined to unfold. It began as a joke on the playground, with whispers of a new "cooties infection" sweeping through the nation. Initially dismissed as mere childhood folly, panic soon set in as reports emerged about an unusual outbreak.
When little Ted Ford a seemingly ordinary kinder-garden student wet his hands on the lunchroom table and declared war on cooties by touching every doorknob he could find, he unknowingly ignited a fateful chain reaction. His revelation, broadcast through the friendly chaos of recess, led to children eagerly attempting to declare themselves ‘cootie kings’ and ‘queens.’ This innocent contest led to numerous cases of ‘cooties’ popping up seemingly overnight. 
Days turned into weeks, and with startling rapidity, the infection spread like wildfire across schools nationwide. Health authorities scrambled to contain it, labelling this ‘Cooties Crisis’ as a national emergency. The symptoms were childish but severe: uncontrollable giggling fits, sudden urges for extravagant dance-offs, and a feverish desire to trade lunch items—especially for the notoriously coveted chocolate pudding cups. 
As groups of children reveled in the chaos, parents grew frightened. News reports detailed entire classrooms transformed into battlegrounds filled with laughter and unrelenting cooties. The ramifications were grave; many schools were forced to close, leading to a loss of learning, compounded by the dark reality that vaccinations against this unusual plague - the “cootie shots” - were sold out everywhere, devoured by panicked parents.
Desperate and venturing into overdrive, scientists turned to their labs. They worked tirelessly to create an antidote, but the innocent 'cooties' had an unintended twist: the more they tried to define how to cure it, the more it morphed into a cultural phenomenon. Social media exploded with "cootie challenges" - kids all over America flaunted their cooties like badges of honor, dancing and laughing, spreading the infection through social gatherings fueled by sugar-fueled excitement.
With schools on lockdown and health agencies warning of the infection spreading to adults, the streets of America transformed dramatically. Grocery shopping turned into a game of cooties dodgeball. Parents clutched their hand sanitizer like talismans while their children strutted around, feeling invincible against traditional social norms. "Cooties are just another word for freedom!" was a phrase often shouted out by determined toddlers.
Amidst this chaos, an unlikely hero on the horizon emerged: Ms. Juicy Ford, the eccentric yet wise school librarian. With her thick glasses perched precariously on her nose, Ms. Ford proposed a grand plan to unite the communities in treating the chaos. She initiated the "Save Our Schools" initiative—a series of workshops where children could express themselves through art, poetry, and performance, channeling the boundless creativity sparked by the cooties.
With every school and community involved, parents came together to participate in an epic “Cooties Carnival.” Local parks filled with booths for tug-of-war, three-legged races, and arts and crafts. Laughter erupted as kids showcased their cootie-inspired creations—friendship bracelets and painted rocks claiming mailboxes—fueling a renaissance of unity amid uncertainty.
Through connection, community, and celebration, the Cooties Crisis evolved into a movement for kindness and collaboration. Children learned the value of togetherness while brushing away the normal stigma associated with contagious illnesses. By embracing the infection's chaos, they forged friendships that transcended age, race, and background, reminding everyone how powerful laughter and play could be, even in times of adversity.
As fall drew near, federal health agencies 
finally released the antidote, but it was met with indifference. The children had already discovered the cure to their loneliness and isolation—a community painted in colors of camaraderie and connection. At the Cooties Carnival’s grand finale, they collectively sang an anthem of resilience, echoing throughout the once-quiet streets, bringing the entire nation together.
In the end, the Cooties Crisis left a lasting mark on America. While the infection had rampaged unchecked, it transformed from what initially appeared to be a chaotic calamity into a celebration of resilience, creativity, and togetherness. As laughter and play filled the air, a new era emerged, filled with the lessons of joy, connection, and the undeniable strength of childhood spirit.